I Take My Coffee Black: Reflections on Tupac, Musical Theater, Faith, and Being Black in America

I've been reading a lot of books by Black authors over the last few years. The never-ending killings of Black people by cops was wearing me down. I knew if this white woman was feeling it, the Black community was in deep suffering. I had to learn more; how could I help?Tyler's book is unlike any of the books I've read so far. He shares his personal story with great transparency, and had me laughing and crying throughout. Reading his book feels like you're sitting across from him, having a conversation. But wait...is it a history book? Because I learned some things I wish I didn't have to, but need to, and I am not alone.Tyler's big on proximity, and he's not wrong. The dictionary defines it as "nearness in space, time, or relationship". Tyler's book shows why proximity is so important, how it "destroys suspicion and distrust", breeding empathy. He has orchestrated projects that bring unlikely people together, for important, life-changing conversations.You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll also be encouraged by this book. Tyler has a way of reaching through the pages to impart how special you are (yes, YOU!). I usually have about three books going at one time, and I planned to take my time with I Take My Coffee Black, savoring it in bits and pieces. That didn't happen! Tyler's book is hard to put down. I'll be reading it again. (I hear the audiobook has some treats!)

Time and time again, I'm blown away by Tyler Merrit's ability to engage a very difficult, personally painful topic with patience and love. When faced with hate, responding with more hate is what we want to do, and for many of us, all we CAN do. In that instant we cease to view the other person as a person and instead begin to think of them as a monster, a villain. But Tyler Merritt somehow, almost magically, seems to avoid this response. He responds with care, empathy, and love.Which means that, if you are someone who senses the tension in our country--racial, political, gender-based, or otherwise--but you are intimidated by the anti-racist literature out there, this book is perfect for you. Yes, there are facts and figures about racism. Yes, it contains social commentary. But it also contains love, respect, and understanding for all involved. Which means that the hard messages are palatable and therefore can penetrate deep, right down to our souls. He engages the reader as a friend, and we can't help but see him in turn as a friend as well.My favorite thing about the book was the transparency. Because he writes in the same way he talks, the message is genuine, just like if we were sitting across from him over cups of coffee. And since he lays it all out, all his deepest pains and secrets and sins, you feel you must be one of his best friends. You connect. You can't help but care. Which creates a perfect place of safety to discuss the hard stuff.The book changed me. Being entrusted with a person's story changes you. It can't be helped. I've read several anti-racism books that taught me a lot, but this book makes it actually matter to me personally. It makes me care and understand something that I as a white woman can't fully grasp otherwise.So read it. You'll have gained a friend.

I Take My Coffee Black by Tyler Merritt wasn’t what I expected, it was more than I expected. The author takes us on a journey of proximity - one that is essential if we are ever to get past stereotypes and solve racism and race relations.Merritt reveals his life experiences to the reader in a way that engages a range of emotions - love, joy, anger, frustration, laughter, and admiration. He is open and honest allowing himself to be vulnerable beyond what some might say is necessary. His openness and vulnerability are some of the most striking elements of the book.He mixes his vulnerability and life story with a depiction of his experiences as a black man growing up in America while delivering a history lesson and commentary on the assault on black men in our society.Reading I Take My Coffee Black was like taking a leisurely walk with a close friend filled with laughter, joy, tears, and real talk. I’m looking forward to a sequel from the author that continues the conversation.

The author is a truly talented writer who opens up his life and struggles to the reader. He offers his readers the chance to see him as he really is and to understand the impact of divisiveness. He extends an invitation into his life and does so with warmth and compassion toward all, even those who would attempt to construct a wall of racism against him. This book will make a difference in our troubled world.