Wintergirls

In my mind, an eating disorder is the ultimate manifestation of both poor body image, and a distorted self-perception. I graduated with a BS in Psychology last December, and in one of my undergrad classes, we devoted a large percentage of time to discussing eating disorders and where they stem from. Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson is one of the best books I've read this year, and I would say that it is the best book I've ever read that handles eating disorders.Lia is a young girl who has been suffering from anorexia for several years. She's been hospitalized twice, and the family tries to help keep watch over Lia, and make sure she is eating. They weigh her regularly and prepare meals and 'watch' her eat. But Lia is clever, and she is unable to give up her disorder. She cleverly lines the pockets of the robe she is weighed in with quarters and smears food on a plate before dumping it down the garbage disposal to give the appearance of having eaten. For a long time, Lia feels like she is in control and that losing all this weight makes her powerful. However, after the death of her former best friend, Cassie. Lia's world begins falling apart and she loses control over her life. Toward the end of the novel, she begins to make observations and gains new understanding that gives the reader hope she will overcome her illness.I think one of the most telling sentences in this book is when Lia really starts to realize what this disease is to her, and where her motivation to starve herself comes from. She keeps obsessive track of her weight, and gives herself goals- I'm 105 lbs? I need to be 100. And on from there. She steps on the scale one day and the number reads 89. Her thoughts, "I could say I'm excited, but that would be a lie. The number doesn't matter. If I got down to 070.00, I'd want 065.00. If I weighed 010.00, I wouldn't be happy until I got down to 005.00. The only number that would ever be enough is 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point. Zero in tennis is love. I finally get it. (emphasis added, pg. 220)I think that there is too much focus placed on the body-image problems facing people who suffer from an eating disorder, and not enough attention given to their warped views of themselves. In one of my undergrad classes, we discussed this at length, and talked about new research being developed that suggests the root causes for many people suffering from eating disorders stem from far more than the desire to be skinny or even the desire to control at least one aspect of their lives. Although both of those play a role in the formation of the disorder, the new research suggests that these eating disorders actually stem more from the desire to disappear. Subconsciously they view themselves as unworthy of love, and that because of their flaws or imperfections, they are not worthy to take up space. So, they are literally trying to starve themselves out of existence. They don't necessarily want to die, but neither do they wish to live. It's scary research, but it's research that makes a frightening amount of sense. That LHA was able to grasp that idea and articulate it so well with just a small paragraph, and a simple sentence speaks volumes to me about her skill as a writer, and her ability to develop believable and realistic characters. Lia just breaks my heart.One of the most powerful aspects of the novel is also potentially distracting. LHA uses the strike through text to signify the difference between what Lia was thinking and what Lia actually said. Or, it could be what Lia thought vs. what she knew she was supposed to think. Either way, the strike through offers additional insight into the mind of Lia, and enables us as readers to better understand what she's really thinking.I recommend this book to everyone, even though I know it won't be for everyone. LHA doesn't pull her punches with this one, and I really felt that I was living the life of an anorexic teen along with Lia. And let me tell you, it was not comfortable. It was scary, painful and terrifying. I can only imagine how much worse it would be for someone actually suffering through this. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of this book as soon as possible. But I warn you, don't pick it up expecting a light read that will fill a few hours. This novel is gripping, intense and horrifying. It is one of the best books I've read all year and I just can't bring myself to give it anything but my highest rating. It is basically amazing in every way. Way to go Laurie, for creating a book that gives us such a vivid portrait of a young anorexic girl who suddenly understands what it is to live.

Goodreads Description- “Dead girl walking,” the boys say in the halls.“Tell us your secret,” the girls whisper, one toilet to another.I am that girl.I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through.I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame.Lia and Cassie are best friends, wintergirls frozen in matchstick bodies, competitors in a deadly contest to see who can be the skinniest. But what comes after size zero and size double-zero? When Cassie succumbs to the demons within, Lia feels she is being haunted by her friend’s restless spirit.In her most emotionally wrenching, lyrically written book since the multiple-award-winning Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson explores Lia’s descent into the powerful vortex of anorexia, and her painful path toward recovery.There have been plenty of books that I have read that I have thought that were really good and have rated them 5 stars. But then occasionally, not that often, a book comes along and absolutely takes your breath away. It makes you sit up and take notice. It also makes you realize that maybe all of the other books that you rated 5 stars were nothing close to the real thing.Laurie Halse Anderson's Wintergirls is exactly that kind of book. This was recommended to me several months ago as part of a book club but for some reason I just didn't get around to reading it. Well I finally started it 2 days ago and when I did I didn't stop reading it until I was done. The characters were so real, so ugly at times, and so raw. The protagonist Lia, is anorexic and has just lost her best friend who died alone in a motel room. Lia is haunted by the fact that she has 33 missed calls from her friend Cassie and feels a great deal of guilt over her death. For Cassie was just as sick as Lia...she died of bulimia. Cassies starts haunting Lia and wants Lia to join her on the other side. To avoid the ghost Lia stops sleeping and starts exercising excessively. She only eats 500 calories a day. her goal weight starts at 95 pounds but each time she meets a goal she makes a new goal of 5 pounds less. Lia grows lanugo, baby fine hair, to hold in her body heat for she is always freezing. Lia cannot read anymore because she cannot thing right to make out the words. Lia has become a Wintergirl, a person lost between both worlds, and Cassie is waiting for her on the other side.There were some ugly facts presented about anorexia. It wasn't pretty. I'm glad Anderson didn't make it pretty. Maybe some teenager will read this book and take a different path.About the supporting characters...there were times I wanted to reach through the books pages and grab the adults in Lia's life and scream "Look at her! Can you not see that she is sick! She needs your attention! Give it to her and get her to a hospital!" But as they say "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt". It was obvious Lia couldn't control her parents divorce, her father's remarriage, her mother's controlling indifference. So she sought control elsewhere. Well she got it. And she so wanted the attention of someone and no adult in her life saw it. The only one who saw it was her 9 year old stepsister who told her friends that Lia had cancer to cover up the truth. It was a sad situation.The climax was so wonderfully written that I could easily imagine it on the big screen. It was beautiful and powerful.This is one of those rare books that really caught my soul. I wish there could be a rating for these special books to differentiate them from all the rest. This is definitely a 5 star book but also so much more. You absolutely must read this book!