The Road Through Wonderland: Surviving John Holmes

As many others have stated, once I began reading I could not put this book down. Dawn's personal style of writing captured me immediately. I felt as if I was sitting over coffee with her as she told her tale. The courage it takes to share this kind of story is beyond admirable. I stumbled upon this book as I looked through the "top free" selections for my kindle. I was intrigued by the description of the book, but hesitated to get it thinking it would be full of sordid details about John Holmes' pornography career. This was not the case. This is Dawn's story, and she did not focus on John Holmes, pornography star. Dawn told her story with the innocence and naiveté that was truly HER at that time in her life. This fact makes the book even more powerful. Had she elaborated on John's career it would have been just another titillating tale. Anyone looking for a thrill from this story, move on. Anyone looking to be swept up in a young girl's battle with the power an abuser can have over a person, and a woman's triumph over that power definitely needs to read this book. Every teenager facing difficulties in life needs to read this book. There is hope! One can overcome addiction, a horrific past and become a strong, triumphant adult. Adults need to read this book whether they have an abusive or addictive past or not. Through Dawn's story, we are given a vivid picture of how subtly predators draw in innocent young people and the powerful pull young women have towards anyone willing to "love" them. As adults we need to be aware of this so we can educate and protect our children and have compassion for those who were victims. There were a couple places in the book that seemed like I'd skipped a page as I read. I had to go back and figure out whether I missed something, or if it was just the way that particular section was written. I thought maybe the kindle version I was reading had a couple formatting mistakes. Since the kindle version is the only one I've read or looked at, I have no way of telling. Other than those two places, the writing flowed, the story unfolded at a perfect pace, and the book completely captured me. Thank you, Dawn, for having the courage to tell your story.

You will not learn much about the porn career of John Holmes here. There is another 500-page biography of him available on Amazon that covers this very well. This is the story of the adolescence of Dawn Schilling, who spent much of this time as the underage (at least at the beginning) "girlfriend" of Mr. Holmes. It takes you roughly through the four years before and year or so after the Wonderland murders, which brought Holmes a new category of infamy. The term "girlfriend" is used loosely here, as he had numerous affairs IN ADDITION TO the (mostly) women he had sex with as the main part of his main job. AND while still being married the whole time the book covers with his first wife Sharon (the three even lived together for a time), who provided some guidance and stability, and was also a first-hand witness when it all finally crashed and burned. In this book, Holmes is just "away" for sometimes weeks at a time, and other books fill in what went on then. What he did share with Dawn (not Sharon) was a constantly growing appetite for drugs, especially cocaine. And to be fair, Dawn, underage and all, was a willing participant. At least at the beginning. Until the paranoia and unjustified jealousy kicked in. And his involvement with two different groups of very dangerous people that would explode eventually into national headlines. This book is the basis for the movie "Wonderland", which does a decent job of telling the story of the murders from the different points of view that are available. For some reason, even though they portrayed him as a mostly pathetic human being, those who made the picture decided not to show the total monster Holmes became. The movie shows him striking Dawn on one occasion, and sending her to Eddie Nash once as part of paying off a debt. But in reality, Holmes regularly beat her for imagined cheating, and pimped her out repeatedly to get drug cash for (mostly) him at the rate of $10 to $20 a pop. This is what the guy who just a few years before had been the most highly paid porn actor of the time. The movie ends with the couple going out on the lam to Florida. but the beatings and pimping continued until her brother and L.A. police eventually remove her from Holmes life. Her description of what happened shortly after the movie ends. Which makes the book worth reading, although it ends before Holmes' trial. Pickup "Malice In Wonderland" to pick up the story.

Just about everybody knows who John Holmes is. Most would probably also know about The Wonderland Murders. While I never saw the movie, I did have some idea of what it was about. Or at least I thought I did. Turns out, I had no idea about any of it until after I read this book. This is Dawn Schiller's personal memoir and life's story. It's not just about John Holmes though, although that's the brunt of the book. It starts in her earlier years growing up in Point Pleasant NJ (not all that far from my neck of the woods actually) where she was born to a German immigrant and a war veteran. It the continues along her life's incredible journey. From New Jersey, to Florida, To California, BACK to Florida and places overseas, Dawn Schiller chronicles a long period in her life where betrayal, abuse and being exploited were the norm. Reading this book I couldn't help but think how, from an early age, everything was set against Dawn. Her mother was a harsh disciplinarian. Her father, having come back from the Vietnam war, was never the same. After moving the family to Florida against her will, her father takes her and her sister Terry across country, doing drugs, drinking and taking in the sights when they meet a hitchhiker whom they pick up. The man they pick up offers to set them up with living accommodations in Glendale, CA when they get there. It just so happens that the little bungalow community they end up squatting at is managed by John Holmes. He takes an immediate liking to Dawn. He was 32, working in the porn industry. She was 15 years old. From that point on, Dawn was exposed to a life of drugs, prostitution and both physical and mental abuse that lasted for years. It just read like a perfect alignment of pitfalls set up with the specific purpose of destroying Dawn's teenage years and that's exactly what happened, all of it out of her control. Despite the darker nature of the book (drugs, abuse, John's job in the porn industry, etc, etc) it never once glorifies any of it. As a matter of fact, I was surprised at how 'clean' a read this memoir was. Most people know what made John Holmes so famous, but she doesn't go into great detail about it. There is no titillation factor here. There's even a surprising lack of profanity. It's impressive, given the main focus of the book. Through the book, because of the very good writing, you get into her head and you can almost feel the conflict in her. The John she ended up with was not the John she met and fell in love with as an inexperienced and idealistic middle teenager. There were shades of his darker nature that would crop up from time to time but as the book progresses, you can see his slow descent into his dark half. It's really chilling to read. But, perhaps the most impressive thing is Dawn's rebirth after John Holmes. How she picked up the pieces of her life, gathered herself and moved on. He still haunts her and he probably always will but her strength of character is nothing short of amazing. For anybody on the fence, don't let the title turn you off. This isn't a 'sex' book (there's, amazingly, very little description of sex in the book at all). This is a survivor's story and it's fantastic in its brutal depiction of a life that took a wrong turn due to outside circumstances but eventually rights itself.

I purchased the digital copy on my Kindle out of curiosity after recently watching "Wonderland" again after not having seen the film since around the time it first came out many years ago. I gotta say I was mesmerized with Dawn Schiller's story. I finished the book within 2 days reading every free moment I had,which isn't much. From the very first chapter I was hooked. Reading about her broken dysfunctional family and upbringing as a teenager while trying to survive every day not getting beaten or killed from local gangs in and out of school had me remembering my own childhood of poverty, divorced parents, physical and emotional abuse and being out of step and isolated from my peers. I eventually became a heroin and crack addict on and off the streets of San Francisco, CA during the 90's barely escaping death and now live in the Seattle WA area forever stuck on methadone, the one thing that saved my life but also in many ways has destroyed it due to the laws and control the clinics have on ex addicts. Anyway,I digress...There were so many incidents in this story that I could relate to both horrific and some very heart warming moments as well. The way Dawn writes, the words just jump off the pages and you feel like you are witnessing everything she sees and you, the reader, feel a lot of what she feels too. It's absolutely sickening just how manipulative John Holmes was to this sweet young girl. He was portrayed less abusive in the film which couldn't be further from the truth as you will learn from reading this story. A young teenage girl in love for the first time with an older man she sees as a father figure, left to fend for herself in a strange new town by her own father,it's no wonder she stuck with this abusive prick as long as she did. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this book. This is definitely a 5 out of 5 star book. I only wished there was a little more information in this book on the actual people at the Wonderland house and how John first met them and also more detail on what led to the murders to begin with. Without giving away any spoilers, I was happy to read how Dawn and Sharon wrapped things up towards the end. For anyone who is interested in the Wonderland tragedy of 1981, or the famous porno star John Holmes, aka Johnny Wadd, or just curious how an innocent American teenage girl can get sucked into a world of drugs, abuse,crime, and prostitution; I highly recommend and urge you to purchase and read this amazing story. Dawn Schiller is a survivor and has earned my utmost love and respect !

This book is excellent. I had not much knowledge of this story until I stumbled across the movie. After seeing there was a book, I was intrigued. It is quite a different portrayal than the film, a true and raw story of a life in chaos. And how this man came into this child's life and stole so much from her. It doesn't concentrate on his career but more their relationship and how their personalities led them to be the perfect fit at first which locked her in for a horrible ride with this man. Seemingly sweet and kind, just what she needed... but then he exposed his sick, evil ways, a sad, drugged excuse for a human being. The people she comes into contact with throughout her story are detailed so unbelievably, its like you can see their faces, hear their thoughts,and feel thier fears. Her writing also leaves the reader enough room to analyze these individuals, which makes it such and entertaining read. Anyone who is compelled by the strength of the human soul will find this book exceptional. The writing; its just fantastic. Dawn tells her gripping story with an ease and grace which seems impossible to manage considering the topics detailed. It draws you in and keeps you there, in her life, through her pain, turmoil and finally, enlightenment and freedom. I can see this book, and her life's work, as a savior to anyone who needs to believe that the worst things imaginable, heartbreaking times and impossible situations can be overcome and lead to better days. This book is so well written, and the story so compelling; after reading it you will feel as if you know her, can relate to her. It will leave every bit your heart with such satistaction that she is now happy. I thank her so much for sharing her story.

WISH I COULD HAVE GIVEN IT A 3 1/2 While I did enjoy the book at times, I feel that most of the first half could have been cut out. It is okay to give your history--but since the story was supposed to be centered around the relationship between her and John...did we really need THAT much history. I felt very bad for Dawn throughout the entire book, and found her story compelling. The included pictures made it seem more real to me--good addition. The only thing that I didn't like was how things were left out but she mentioned them at the end.. for example--how her brother came to visit, how she had gotten back in touch with her father....why did we not hear about that when it actually happened? I was also very shocked that so many adults would let this go on under their roof. She was 15 for God's sake!!! It seems like they all turned a blind eye to a pedophile. So, I think this was a well written story.I didn't have any interest in John Holmes before I read this and I never saw the WONDERLAND movie but I am going to look for it this weekend. This book does make me want to know more of the story.

It is my pleasure to write this recommendation for Dawn Schiller, and The Road Through Wonderland: Surviving John Holmes. This is a true story written exquisitely and it depicts the real life story of Dawn, her family dynamic and how she became the perfect target for a pedophile and predator as John Holmes. There is no embellishment, nor grandiosity anywhere in her words, just a very matter of fact journey of her being lured and seduced by a very sick and twisted John Holmes when she was so vulnerable and impressionable at 15 years of age, and left to live on her own in Los Angeles by her father. I could not put this book down once I started it. It is mesmerizing and it is written so well that the reader really comes to know all the real life people involved, especially Dawn and John. The Wonderland Murders are an integral part of this true story, and reflect the world Dawn was exposed to by John. What Dawn endured and lived to tell about is nothing short of miraculous. She has taken that experience and leveraged it to now help young women avoid the perils of seduction, manipulation that leads to sex trafficking, degradation and in many cases death. I absolutely applaud her work, her truth and her sharing her life story, and I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I strongly encourage you to read it and see for yourself. This is a gripping account of violence, addiction, and abuse, that ends with redemption and freedom for a young lady who only wanted to be loved, but was completely taken advantage of, and exploited by Holmes. Thank you for reading this review, please do yourself a favor and read this book. You will certainly be moved.

I can't say I was expecting all that much from this -- perhaps another sleazy true-crime "addiction recovery" potboiler along the lines of those I'd read many times before -- but this was exceptional. Dawn writes clearly and evocatively about her troubled childhood in a troubled time -- the late 70s, when all the hippie free love and drugs was turning into joyless fornication and addiction. At age 15, Dawn leaves her stern German mother and a slum neighborhood in Florida with her goofball father, who loves adventure more than he loves his wife and kids. She ends up living in a Glendale, CA apartment complex managed by John Holmes, at that time emerging as one of the bright lights of the burgeoning porn industry. Charming and talented, John quickly sets his sights on the teenage -underage - girl despite being married and 17 years older than her. Things go from odd to bad to horrific within a few years, as cocaine enters the picture, along with Lebanese gangster Eddie Nash and another drug gang living on Wonderland Avenue, and soon John is abusing Dawn and forcing her to prostitute herself to get money for the next fix. Dawn brings to vivid life the sunny but sleazy California of the 70s, awash with drugs and porn and runaways and serial killers like the Hillside Stranglers. There's very little prurient detail about John Holmes' legendarily large member -- it's mentioned only twice. This is a horror story about a lost little girl and her prince who turned out to be a dragon in disguise. At the end of the book, Dawn mentions she spent some years down and out in Asia and Japan after her experiences with John Holmes -- I for one would love to read that book, and I hope Dawn Schiller writes it.

A must read, a remarkable, well-written autobiography made by an incredibly extraordinary, brave, sensitive and smart woman who survived the King of porn who transformed himself into a narcissistic puppeteer. A man who loved an adolescent or the naive image she reflected of him and manipulated her, led her to a dirty game of drugs and self-destruction. A seductive, charismatic, clever and intricate man who wasn't bad but got controlled and twisted by a despicable underground world of hard drugs and sex and eventually gave up his life to it and embarked Dawn into this painful journey of misery. From a paternal/fraternal figure, he converted into an authentic best friend, caring lover and ultimately the worst paranoid and self-absorbed tyran you could think of. He sincerely loved her before the drugs took a drastic and irreparable hold on him but there were some cryptic and questionable elements about the way he loved her: he wouldn't let her have a social life even if she wanted (due to her tender and naive age, John was Dawn's world and she didn't think of letting enter anybody else into her life). He made her get a hard-knock, full-time work instead of encouraging her to pursue her studies and take care of all the spendings. After all, let's not forget he was the king of porn so if he knew how to manage his money, he could have lived a well-off life. Let alone the fact that he was still living with his first (sisterly/motherly strongly ambiguous) love Sharon so everything they did was part of a ménage-a-trois. He should have been more delicate while having sex and spend more time on the preliminaries. He didn't stand up for her every time his brother David and his mother mistreat her; all these essential details amplified by drugs would foreshadow his horrendous demeanor toward our dear author. However, she successfully managed to escape him and this highly tormented life and surprisingly rebuilt herself. The novel is written by a young candid Dawn who amazingly succeeded in recounting an image of John that matched the idea she had of him when the story happened. She did not let her emotions alter his description. Her narration is so articulate that I found myself caught with the very same feelings Dawn developed for John (friendship, trust, admiration, fascination, love, fright, confusion, anger, disappointment and hate). For those who wonder if Dawn will give any graphic detail about her forced sexual experiences, the Wonderland's murders or any juicy element about John's X-rated universe, that won't happen but she explains remarkably what she endured. The more I read Dawn's story, the more I loved her and saw her as a sister who could have been a wonderful friend. An inspiring and uplifting adult autobiographic novel I would recommend to anyone.

Amazingly courage to endure and survive....Dawn am in awe of you...you made it...xxx You are blessed to have come out alive

This book is truly shocking and gripping. I read this is only 2/3 days, as once you start you cannot put it down. The way the book is written, is a masterpiece - you feel as though you are feeling the same things as Dawn, not just reading them. Although the reality of what happened is incomprehensible and I am sure no one can understand the true gravity apart from the people in this book. Highly recommended read

Loved the book. Easy to read and captures your interest right away. The author is a brave survivor. I highly recommend this book.

I couldn't put this book down. What a powerful story! The author takes you on her journey so honestly that you are brought in close. You really do see it from her point of view and almost feel an understanding of how easy it must have been to get embroiled in it all, no matter how distant her life is from yours.