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Like Passages , this groundbreaking book uses the poignant, powerful voices of adoptees and adoptive parents to explore the experience of adoption and its lifelong effects. A major work, filled with astute analysis and moving truths. Review: One of the Best Books Out There - Every book, let alone every book on adoption, has its pitfalls. However, I believe this is one of the best adoption books out there. A lot of books are on how to adopt or about the wonders of adoption. There are few out there that I would really recommend for people interested in learning about the challenges of adoption and the real experiences and issues of Adult Adoptees--especially those inclusive of infant adoptees whom society is largely content to believe are not impacted by their adopted status. This book is not written by adoptees, but rather by two of what I would say are the most known adoption researchers and writers out there. I agree with other commenters that more adoptees should write books. Does a perfect book out there exist where no one disagrees with a line written or where every person who reads it identifies with everything in it? No. This book is no exception. This book is a brief lesson on the psychology of Life Span Development as experienced by the adopted person. It acknowledges that how an adopted person approaches each developmental task may be different than their biologically-raised peers, something many people do not realize. It acknowledges that each adoptee is different. To me, if not most importantly, it perfectly explains how a wide range of emotions experienced by adoptees and how they work out the incongruencies and loss in adoption are OK. Too often are those of us that point out loss and that not everything is wonderful all the time greeted with the "angry adoptee" label or told that our feelings and thoughts are wrong. This book suggests, perhaps not as directly as some would like, that how a non-adopted society views adoption and how adoptees ought to feel needs revision and that it's time to start listening to the adopted persons rather than telling them how to feel. Review: lost dreams and lives/ - i am adopted, and reading this book was like looking at my life. it is not just for ades., but adess should make this their almanac. This is the blood and guts of the life of an ade. We live lives that are closed, not our own,and we must live with ugly laws that are as crude as the people who wrote them. the book will let people know what we put up with, from agencys that are no more than meat factories. that sell themselves as care givers, well meaning for the care of orphans. the truth is they are out for a buck, with crooked lawyers and people with money to buy and sell babies, and then seal away their identity, hideing away like cowards behind fony laws. i grew up as an indian baby, bought and sold, by an agency(name withheld) that is out for profit. this is a must read, as you can see i am an angry ade. this book lets you know and understand our lives,and the depression and quilt we live with. read it, it is a true and factual read. i had a twin brother, the agency, well known with an incredible web site. they took my brother ,separated us for profit . told me i was born in Phoenix,and sold my brother and told him he was born in las vegas. My mother commited suicide at 43, because this agency in phx. would not tell her where we were. We did find each other, but not because of the agency. This book is full of stories about the uglyness of the buisness of selling babies,health, and issues we need to know about. i read this because i am in the process of writing my own book. but after reading this, i will have to find a new approach, he hits adoption hard, and as an adopte himself, he knows what he is talking about. My cudos go out to this auther, as an ade. who knows what he wrote is true and factual.
| Best Sellers Rank | #123,333 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #93 in Adoption (Books) #233 in Medical Child Psychology #343 in Popular Child Psychology |
| Customer Reviews | 4.4 out of 5 stars 204 Reviews |
A**A
One of the Best Books Out There
Every book, let alone every book on adoption, has its pitfalls. However, I believe this is one of the best adoption books out there. A lot of books are on how to adopt or about the wonders of adoption. There are few out there that I would really recommend for people interested in learning about the challenges of adoption and the real experiences and issues of Adult Adoptees--especially those inclusive of infant adoptees whom society is largely content to believe are not impacted by their adopted status. This book is not written by adoptees, but rather by two of what I would say are the most known adoption researchers and writers out there. I agree with other commenters that more adoptees should write books. Does a perfect book out there exist where no one disagrees with a line written or where every person who reads it identifies with everything in it? No. This book is no exception. This book is a brief lesson on the psychology of Life Span Development as experienced by the adopted person. It acknowledges that how an adopted person approaches each developmental task may be different than their biologically-raised peers, something many people do not realize. It acknowledges that each adoptee is different. To me, if not most importantly, it perfectly explains how a wide range of emotions experienced by adoptees and how they work out the incongruencies and loss in adoption are OK. Too often are those of us that point out loss and that not everything is wonderful all the time greeted with the "angry adoptee" label or told that our feelings and thoughts are wrong. This book suggests, perhaps not as directly as some would like, that how a non-adopted society views adoption and how adoptees ought to feel needs revision and that it's time to start listening to the adopted persons rather than telling them how to feel.
T**H
lost dreams and lives/
i am adopted, and reading this book was like looking at my life. it is not just for ades., but adess should make this their almanac. This is the blood and guts of the life of an ade. We live lives that are closed, not our own,and we must live with ugly laws that are as crude as the people who wrote them. the book will let people know what we put up with, from agencys that are no more than meat factories. that sell themselves as care givers, well meaning for the care of orphans. the truth is they are out for a buck, with crooked lawyers and people with money to buy and sell babies, and then seal away their identity, hideing away like cowards behind fony laws. i grew up as an indian baby, bought and sold, by an agency(name withheld) that is out for profit. this is a must read, as you can see i am an angry ade. this book lets you know and understand our lives,and the depression and quilt we live with. read it, it is a true and factual read. i had a twin brother, the agency, well known with an incredible web site. they took my brother ,separated us for profit . told me i was born in Phoenix,and sold my brother and told him he was born in las vegas. My mother commited suicide at 43, because this agency in phx. would not tell her where we were. We did find each other, but not because of the agency. This book is full of stories about the uglyness of the buisness of selling babies,health, and issues we need to know about. i read this because i am in the process of writing my own book. but after reading this, i will have to find a new approach, he hits adoption hard, and as an adopte himself, he knows what he is talking about. My cudos go out to this auther, as an ade. who knows what he wrote is true and factual.
T**M
Being Adopted
Well worth the read after several decades. The book has many useful insights for understanding what it is like to be adopted. Recommended reading for adopted people and all adoptive parents.
V**M
A book that helped me understand my own story
I am an adult adoptee. I read Being Adopted by David M. Brodzinsky as an adult adoptee, and I found it both validating and grounding. This book explores adoption as a lifelong experience rather than a single event. It addresses how understanding of adoption evolves across childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, and how identity, loss, and belonging can surface in different ways over time. What I appreciated most is the balance between research and compassion. Brodzinsky presents adoption psychology in a way that feels accessible and humane, without minimizing the emotional complexity adoptees may carry. This book helped normalize experiences many adoptees have but rarely see reflected in academic or parenting conversations. I recommend it for adult adoptees, adoptive parents, therapists, educators, and professionals seeking a deeper understanding of adoption across the lifespan.
A**R
This was a pretty good book that gave me some insight as an ...
This was a pretty good book that gave me some insight as an adoptee. My biggest takeaway, however, is the knowledge from the book that although adoption does impact a person throughout their life cycle the stability of a good adoptive home is far better than the instability of being in a biological family that is not ready or not invested in caring for a child. I enjoyed Primal Wound as a companion to this book in understanding the impact of being separated from the biological family.
M**R
Very Helpful and Positive
This book is up to date, fairly unbiased, and very complete. It looks at adoption as it is happening now, with a very modern look at all of the different types of adoptions that exist today, from the closed records of old time to the many new open adoptions, and the stages that both the adoptive parents and the adoptees go through. I found it to be very helpful, and if you are a prospective adoptive parent or an adoptee, it will touch on many of the issues that are inherent to this situation. I would recommend it over "Lost & Found" by Betty Jean Lifton, which I also bought, but which in my opinion was biased, somewhat negative, and more centered on adoptions that were originated long ago.
G**R
Priceless knowledge 33 years later
We read this book AFTER our young adult's (happy) reunion with a birth parent . Very different perspective than prior research available at that time of pre-adoption. Written primarily for an adoptee, there was much lab researched study to enlighten an adoptive parent. The book was academic, unbiased and truthful. I highly recommend this book as early as possible to strengthen understanding and facilitate sensitivity regarding this different way of forming a family. The authors are extensively published and are still doing ongoing and interesting work in the field of adoption.
S**Y
Right on!
I just received the book today but in reading the first chapter and perusing the other chapters, I am immediately buying another for the adoptee in my life -- a person who is needing to make life transforming choices about the adoption. It really tells it exactly like it is. Well written.
C**E
Trotz des Alters hochaktuell
Troz des Alters des Buches (1993) bleibt das Thema hochaktuell. Auch wenn das Buch die Situation in den USA fรผr Adoptierte beleuchtet, so zeigt das Buch vor allem, wie sich Adoptierte fรผhlen, welche Schwierigkeiten der Identitรคtssuche in den eigenen Erfahrungen Adoptierter auftreten und wie sich verschiedene Disziplinen mit dem Thema Adoption auseinandersetzen. Wer sich nicht davor scheut auf Englisch das Buch zu lesen, ist mit diesem Buch gut beraten einen Einstieg der sowohl umfassend als auch nicht zu schwierig ist, zu bekommen. Der Blick wird zum Einen erweitert, zum Anderen regt das Buch dazu an, zu hinterfragen.
C**W
Insightful.
Though, personally, difficult for me on some parts, it did help me out. I would recommend this for anyone involved with adoption on any end of the scale including services as well. Brought me a lot of peace.
K**G
Great book for adoptees
Great book
S**N
Response
A good insight to the issues raised by both the adopted and adoptee, recommend to all adoptive parets and those adopted.
N**N
Five Stars
great volume
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