Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies, and Secrets Paperback – February 24, 2009

This book is spot on for validation. I have highlighted so many passages that it’s almost a highlighter book. If you are suffering, you must read this!

I ordered this book after divorcing my now ex-husband for adultery. I thought it would be about recoving from sexual betrayal (adultery), as the title states. However, it is a book about sexual addiction. I would not classify my ex-husband as a sex addict after reading the entire book, so most of it was not applicable. Although it did have some content that helped me, all in all, I wish it would have something about sex addiction in the title to more clearly state what this book is mainly about.

I can't describe how much this book has helped to not only heal me, but also my 10 year marriage. One year after reading this book, I'm happy to report that my husband and I (with the help of counseling) are stronger and more in love than ever. I haven't forgiven him, but I learned through reading this book that I might never be able to... and that was okay. I was okay. No matter what happens, this book will help you through the pain you are going through... and come out the other side.

If you are a woman, and feel betrayed or deceived and feel like no one will understand or knows how you feel;You need to read this book, you will not feel all alone any longer. The honesty and accuracy in which it is written just shocked and amazed me. No one wants to talk about this hurtful subject. It just helps to know you are not crazy, and not alone. Warning though; do not read in a public place! You will cry. I have a friend who has also gone through similar trials, I bought her a copy.

I am so thankful for this book! Feeling such despair and hopelessness, I found and purchased this book. I haven't even finished it, but the insight into sexual addiction it has provided, as well as the emphasis, hope, and tools for my own personal recovery is amazing! I am only on page 66, but have already learned so much. I can't wait to finish.If you are like me and have recently had your life as you "knew" it ended due to this terrible disease of sexual addiction, I highly recommend you get this book.

Because I sought out this book and author from a trusted source, I hoped that it would support my continuing recovery from betrayal and abuse. Unfortunately, the author perpetuates the destructive and dangerous perspective that all partners of sex addicts/compulsives are, by definition, co-addicts and codependent. Unlike other forms of domestic violence and abuse, partners of SACs ( the sex addict/com compulsive s are often masters of manipulation and deceit, sexual betrayal and emotional abuse) have been further traumatized by so-called experts who claim that normal responses to abuse are, just in the case of sexual/ romantic betrayal, lies, gaslighting and so on, examples of how the victim "sought" such abuse and is just as sick as the abuser. If the focus was on recovering from traumatic abuse, that would be helpful rather than the way this author approaches being a partner of a sex addict.

Loved the book helped validate my feelings and help me see that I am not crazy. Others have traveled this same road of emotion. It also helped me see that there is hope. Hope for me to move forward and understand myself. To know I am responsible for my self. To give me a voice.

A must read for any partner of a sex addict. Provides a safe context for exploring sex addiction and the partner's behaviors related to the addiction. I found this book extremely validating as well as informative, providing me with insights into how I came to be in this relationship and what I can address to begin healing. Kudos to Claudia Black.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. Although he left me behind for another. I was very wounded by this abandonment. This book has given me an understanding of why we were even together and how it can heal and let go of him with some compassion and understanding.

Read this awful book after reading the vastly more helpful and even-handed Stefanie Carnes book on the same topic. The book by Ms Black provides a number of key examples of relationships. In each instance the woman in the relationship has considerable blame place upon her for the addictive behaviour of the spouse. There is no room in this book for the concept of the deceived spouse being blameless or unaware. For those women whose husbands or partners carried out their addiction without the knowledge of their spouse, and who are truly blameless for the addiction, this book is a waste of money and completely demoralising. I would avoid it at all costs and turn attention to other books out there which recognise that addicts will pursue their behaviour regardless of the blamelessness of their wife or partner. This book can only harm someone who is already heartbroken and reeling at the discovery of their spouse or partner's addiction.

This book was recommended to me as Claudia is associated with The Meadows Addiction Treatment Center.I found the most interesting part of this book to contain the quotes of the sex addicts (SAs) themselves and how they belittled, controlled and verbally abused their spouses. It gave me insight into the SAs mentality.The women cited in this book, typically the deceived betrayed partners of the SAs, were so codependent it made me sick. One woman went as far as dying her hair red because her SA was interested in redheads.On the most part I was completely let down by this book and wanted to burn it by the end. Claudia makes a few good points which I find are easily forgotten in comparison to her bad points and lack of ability to identify blatant verbal abuse.

Well worth reading. Very insightful and helpful. Was a tough, emotional read at times but well worth every moment spent.