The Dynamics of Conflict: A Guide to Engagement and Intervention

Easy read and easy to understand.

This book covers nearly all types of conflict you can imagine (Internal self-conflict; family dynamics; work; community; race relations; judicial procedures; governmental challenges), and more.I especially enjoyed seeing how he presented his own challenges with conflict, despite his expertise.My favorite chapter is chapter seven, "Communication."Here are some quotes from chapter seven:1. "Good communication is deceptively simple and yet extremely complex."It's deceptive because we spend so much time assuming that we communicated what we intended to communicate. All too often, we don't stop to check in with ourselves to evaluate how our interlocutor's reaction or response is a mirror of our miss-communication.2. "Communication is only one part of constructive conflict engagement ... without effective communication, it is hard to do much about conflict."Effective is the key here. If you can't establish and build rapport, you won't get where you intend to go.3. "The key is intention and focus."When you notice you are in conflict with what is going on, have you asked yourself what your intention is? Have you committed to focus upon what it takes to have a win-win outcome?4. "When we are focused upon communicating, we are trying to understand what others are saying and helping others understand what we are trying to convey."You don't have to be a psychologist to sit quietly while your interlocutor is communicating, as you look for what his/her needs are, and how you can help to fulfill those, while you stay empowered, and enough.5. "I often feel as if the most important advice I can give to people in conflict is 'be less certain' less certain about the facts, about what is 'right,' about what is really motivating others ..."In other words, "Your ego, during conflicts, is not your amigo." Be present for what is.6. One of the arts of communicating is adapting our language to others' communication style without being patronizing or phone."Do you remember conversations with others who you both nod at the same time; and you didn't have to explain what matters most to you? You can bring that to conflict resolution situations.7. "The art of reframing is to maintain the conflict in all its richness [while helping] people look at it in a more open-minded way."After someone has shared their view of the conflict, reframing is not only saying back to them what you understand is the conflict. It is "repackaging" the words in a less polarizing way that the complainant can hear and appreciate.It's putting empowering energy around the issue. This frees both of you up to look for a solution that works for all involved.Read this book if you would like to walk through the process of being whom you need to be, to be more present.

I am still using the product. The information contained appears to be great.

Bernie Mayer once again provides those interested in conflict resolution a comprehensive and well-considered view of the field. Perhaps no one writes about the field with such careful reflection - sharing the nuances as he goes so that one does not march ahead in the profession with naive or incomplete perspectives. I highly recommend this volume but for one caveat...While Mayer's work is superb his publisher crashes the party by limiting the highlights one can capture. When one pays a high price for a Kindle version, as one embarks on serious study, one expects to be able to highlight and print one's notes without chintzy limits. The publisher leaves one feeling ripped off. That is not Mayer's fault but is something he, as the author, may wish to straighten out with the publisher.

With a keen interest in understanding people, conflicts was a chapter that I wanted to have a grasp. Found the book interesting, especially the wheel of conflict. Would recommend the book to those people, like me, who are not psychologist but want to have a good understanding of key concepts.

Excellent resource. The author's practical experience is reflected in the down to earth appraisal of the conflict resolution field and what lies behind the disputes we are involved with, and leaves the reader constantly questioning the approach we adopt.

Mayer does a masterful job of identifying and describing the intricate web of complexities associated with conflicts of all shapes and sizes.I found this to be a rewarding read.

These books were very informative and surprisingly great reading, compared to other textbooks. I've learned much more than I hoped from these two books. They will not be sold back but held on to as a part of my personal reference library. Both cost much less than it would've cost had I purchased them in the school bookstore.Thank you.

Comment intervenir en cas de conflit ? Tel est le délicat sujet qu’aborde l’un des experts internationaux du sujet, Bernard Meyer, qui s’appuie à la fois sur une recherche théorique avancée et sur son immense expérience pratique dans des domaines aussi variés que le management d’entreprise, les relations sociales, les conflits personnels et familiaux, et même les conflits internationaux.Ce livre dresse un panorama très complet des enjeux du conflit. Dynamiques d’interaction, effets systémiques, impacts culturels et émotionnels sont abordés de façon à la fois très étayée et très concrète. L’auteur propose un tour d’horizon des facteurs qui influencent notre perception du conflit et, par conséquent, la façon dont nous l’abordons. Il décrit, par exemple, différents schémas d’engagement, de l’engagement frontal à l’évitement, ou encore la façon dont nous nous associons avec d’autres parties prenantes, qu’elles nous ressemblent ou au contraire nous apportent des atouts à l’opposé des nôtres. Il livre aussi de multiples tactiques, illustrées de multiples exemples de situations vécues, pour mieux gérer le conflit et maîtriser son impact personnel, en fonction des exigences de la situation et de la personnalité des protagonistes. Enfin, il met ces conseils en perspective des notions de pouvoir, justice, équité ou harmonie qui prévalent dans différents référentiels de valeurs.Un ouvrage de référence pour les professionnels de la résolution de conflit comme pour toute personne impliquée régulièrement ou ponctuellement dans des conflits à fort enjeu.

This book was referenced a lot in my university class and decided to purchase it. It is easy to read, provides good context and if you really want to understand conflict management - start here!

not as good as I expected. Not very useful in the Indian Context.

An insightful and practical framework within which to understand conflict and to design appropriate interventions.

As described-a text book!