How long does the shipment take?

Usually these are shipped within 2-3 business days from when the order is received. Once shipped, it can take anywhere from 1-5 business days to receive with standard ground shipping in the United States.

Will any of these unleash the gates of Hell in my rectum, or are the bears the only ones that do that?

I was not aware of the bears ability to do that. I assume that if they have that effect on you where they did not for me, you can expect the same effect with these gummi colas.

What is the gelitin derived from?

I'm not certain, but haribo products tend to not be Kosher or Halal, meaning their gelatin source is ambivalent. If it's marked Kosher, the gelatin is fish derived. However, the picture says it's from their plant in Turkey. All gelatin from their turkey plant is supposedly made from halal beef bones.