It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way is a deeply honest and beautifully written reflection on hope, loss, and the tension between expectation and reality. Lisa TerKeurst approaches hard experiences with vulnerability and insight, offering both personal stories and spiritual encouragement for those seasons when life hurts in ways we never anticipated. Reading this as someone who has walked through grief, unmet hopes, and learning to trust again, I found this book both validating and healing. It doesn’t offer quick answers—but it does gently point toward resilience, presence, and a God who holds us in the messy middle. This book is for anyone stuck between what life should be and what it is.

This is one of the best Christian non-fiction / inspirational books I have studied this year! Lysa TerKeurst is a Christian woman, wife, mom, ministry leader, book and Bible study author who found herself in three major life crises in a short time. The situations highlighted in this book to show the power and love of God when we endure similar – or entirely different – circumstances that just weren’t supposed to happen. Circumstances that He can and does use for our good. The author takes us through her feelings and faith challenges she experienced as a result of those situations, and how she wrestled through with scripture, prayer, and reliance on the Lord. Her vulnerability is refreshing, her wisdom inspired by the Lord. “Disappointment isn’t proof that God is withholding good from us. Sometimes it’s His way of leading us home.” (pg. 5) Lysa doesn’t mince words. She does not minimize the Lord in any way, rather, He is everything! She is honest, showing that bad things do happen to Christians even while believing that God is good. She writes in a manner that someone who has been a Christian for any length of time, whether new or seasoned, can grasp when in the midst of a trauma. There are stories of people from scripture, and parts of her own life. The wisdom imparted comes from serious wrestling in a walk with God through painful disappointments. I could see myself in some of her feelings and reactions – not in circumstances like she was experiencing, but things going on in my own life. It isn’t the situations that are front and center, it is how we can learn to respond despite times that simply weren’t what that should have been. Those responses may sound overly simple to those not going through a trauma but are profound to the person who is trying to put one foot in front of the other for one more day. There are two ways we can get through – with God, or giving in to our flawed desires. One quote that is important is “We must set our minds and our hearts on things above by choosing to remember God’s words, repeat God’s words, and believe God’s word about us.” (pg. 65) I listened to the audiobook and read the print copy while doing the associated Bible study (and purchased the e-book), and I feel it is a valuable resource to the person going through struggles or the friend of someone struggling through hard times. Don’t compare the author’s situations to yours; instead, compare your reactions, feelings, and responses. I very much like the writer’s approach to seeking God, wrestling, praying, and getting into scripture. Our responses in times of crisis are vital to how we live our lives from those times forward. Regarding the audiobook, it is read by the author. I felt in many ways as if we were sitting in her kitchen over coffee or tea from the writing style and simply hearing her word sin her voice. Why did I get three formats? Because some things I learn better by repetitive hearing. Other times it is easier to open the book and search for the relevant pages, including chapter endings of “Going to the Well”, “Receive (a scripture)”, “Reflect”, and prayer. Back sections include scripture and helps for situations. I highly recommend this unique and timely book to Christians who are going through trauma of any kind and want to know that God is still in control and appreciate solid biblical teaching.

Such a great author! She speaks so down to earth & has went through alot in her life, so you know she really gets it. Very inspiring person!

I have been going through a lot in my life; my relationship, work, my business, family matters, all while trying to grow into a better me. I got so tied up in how to mail out my life that I failed to even think of how God wanted my life to go. This book allowed me to be completely open to the fact of God controlling my life and allowing Him to do so. I’m a big note taker. I took notes and journaled with every chapter of this book. I’m still going through my tough times but I have a different outlook on life. Sometimes you have to be broken and shattered to be made new. I know that this won’t be the only tough time of my life but with newfound perspective I can honestly say I welcome the challenge. This book along w years of therapy and recent journaling has allowed me to reach a new understanding of life in this garden. It won’t be perfect. It won’t be easy. I will hurt, pain, and cry but as long as I trust God and His will and purpose for my life, He will always turn my bad around for my good. Life in this garden was never supposed to be easy. We are supposed to get cut, scraped, bruised, and broken. This is the only way we will be so torn down by trying to direct our own lives that we have no where else to turn but Him. God wants our eyes on Him at all times. I’ve learned that focusing on Him in tough times makes them a little easier to grow through. If you have kindle you can get this book for free! Don’t waste time on if it will be worth the read. If you want to transform your thinking, Lysa, will go through all of her hurts and pains to allow you connect your life and struggles to hers. She makes you feel like your not alone. Read it!

Lysa TerKeurst’s It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way is a powerful and heartfelt reminder that even in our most painful seasons, God never leaves us alone. Through her own honest struggles and heartbreak, Lysa shows that disappointment can become the place where God does His deepest work. This book beautifully captures the hope of redemption — how God can take what feels broken and turn it into something meaningful and good. It’s comforting, real, and faith-strengthening — a must-read for anyone walking through hard times and needing the reassurance that God is still near and has a purpose in the pain.

This book is authentic and raw and full of biblical truth. The reflection questions in each chapter challenge one to introspection and the words equip one with the truth of God as you walk in the shatter of life. Thank you, Lysa, for sharing the beauty that God is able to bring out of the dust of our lives.

Lovely book

There are so many raving reviews that I bought this book, wanting to heal, from many traumatic experiences and a recent horrifying experience that left me financial loss and and trust in humanity. I picked this up with an open mind but chapter after chapter, I read things which I'm confident we already know or have heard from sermons or closed ones. You know, the usual advice one would have given. I give this two stars, at best, and will move on to other Christian writers.

Es una hermosa herramienta de estudio

The timing of this book for me can only be God. My husband left me 7 months ago and I still can't breathe properly, I can only prayer that there is reconciliation like Lysa has for my marriage as well.