The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing

This book has some great information about emotionally unavailable men, but unfortunately in her effort to help them feel empowered, she scapegoats women. Rather than seeing emotional intimacy as a two way street and as a reasonable expectation she argues that women are culturally conditioned to expect all of their needs to be met by men ("princesses"). Um, no. In our society women are consistently taught to minimize our own needs, and this becomes esp. true of women who have been sexually or emotionally abused and internalize needing to satisfy men's needs at their own expense. She also claims, quite ridiculously, that since women have entered the workplace and have emotional availablity skills that they have surpassed men in our society. What the actual frig? Women still make less than men for the same jobs and experience "mansplaining" in their respective fields (see, e.g., Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit). Please. Her conservative, buying-into-patriarchy opinions are stated in undermining and at times manipulative ways, frequently blaming women as emotional "hurricanes" instead of recognizing that the desire for intimacy is wholly fair expectation; there is also not a word about gay husbands. I wouldn't recommend this book to emotioinally unavailable men, but spouses may benefit from it in recognizing some of the features of this personality disorder and perhaps finding help to save their marriages.

Excellent book. This has helped me out tremendously in understanding things. Now I need to put the suggestions to work. I am so impressed with this book that I couldn't wait to write a review in hopes that another person searching for answers will pick up this book and find those answers . The book goes into detail about why this happens (you need to know why in order to solve it) and then gives you a plan of action to work on your marriage. The author is out to save marriages and she is for marriage but It also lets you know when you may have no other choice but to leave. She tells you how it is while leaving the decision to make a change up to you. She is very fair and honest about both the man and the womans side of things. Some books focus on making one person the "bad" one and the other person the "victim" . This book does not do that . It's human , it's real and it opens your eyes to a very real concept / fact that a person who harms another whether unknowingly or on purpose have been damaged themselves . That does not mean they are necessarily bad people or that they don't lover their spouse . Sometimes they are unaware of why they do what they do or even unaware their behavior is misguided or off. This don't excuse the behavior, it just helps you understand they have been wounded in such a way that this is what they learned. The book takes the focus off of blaming and puts the focus on the solution and if there is a solution. A majority of the time there is a solution. This book is definitely worth checking out.

I purchased this book in two formats - the Kindle version, and the Audio CD version. I read one and my now-fiance read the other. This was purchased in a time of turmoil and desperation in our relationship. I found it to be a painful but very enlightening read. My fiance sais that he didn't get much out of it, but I will say that actions speak louder than words. He may think he didn't get much out of it, but I know that after we both read it, we began to make significant improvements to our relationship and to ourselves.This can be a really valuable resource for individuals and couples. I have recommended this to family members and close friends, and also have discussed its merits with my counselor. I will continue to make recommendations of this book to others in the future, as I think it is really excellent. It helped to save the most important relationship I've ever had.As others have mentioned, the author's style and tone can be a bit intimidating and off-putting in the beginning. I struggled with it myself. I felt that the comments were pointed straight at me, but I stuck through it because I wanted to see what else the book had to offer. I'm so glad I did.

This is an immensely readable, thought-provoking and action orientated book. It is for people who want to take full responsibility for their behaviour, and by their example and support, to encourage the people they love in their lives to do the same. What shines through for me is the author's hard won self-knowledge, deep experience of working effectively with both men and women, and an authentic commitment to helping to create (or, rather, co-create with her husband) a world in which her sons can choose to be emotionally available in their relationships, and valued and appreciated for being so. Terrific stuff: kind, honest and determined writing from a truly gifted communicator.

Great book for both the man and women on growing together and practical ways to deal with the problem of emotionally closed men. And for the women to understand what’s going on and how to handle situations and his and hers behaviour.

This is a very good book, extremely helpful and well explained if you find yourself repeating certain patterns in your relationships. It was very helpful to me. Thank you! Very much recommended.

Very helpful book. Gave me a lot of insight and tools to work on myself. Highly recommended to any man labelled as emotional unavailable.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who feels like they have emotionally unavailable relationships in their lives. The writer has done a great job of highlighting it for both men and women. Very insightful. I didn’t expect to learn so much about myself in the process. Grateful this book crossed my path.