Autoboyography

Undoubtedly I read a review of this waaaaaaaaayyyyy back that prompted me to add it to ole Mt. TBR. But good or bad, depending on how you look at it, my sieve like brain has purged that info so some of this will probably be a rerun of many many other reviews. But when a book puts my heart in a blender chances are high I'm going to get chatty.Autoboyography is a deceptively simple story about two boys coming of age in a stiflingly religious town who come from backgrounds so vastly different three football fields could easily fit between them. There is angst and pain alongside comedic moments, triumph and a first love story that not only warmed my heart but made me really think.Tanner tells the majority of this story. Tanner is insightful and wise beyond his years, sharp-witted but also genuine in his naiveté. He’s somehow earnest and effervescent simultaneously.He and his BFF Autumn are in the final semester of senior year and being, for all intents and purposes, fused at the hip they take The Seminar together. Actually, Autumn kind of strong-arms him into taking it but potato, po-tah-toe. Turns out he meets his soulmate in the class so I think we can all agree Autumn won that round.The premise of this story is a clever one. Tanner is writing the story of falling in love for the first time while falling in love for the first time. So he has no idea how it will end and we get to ride shotgun while he hurdles headlong into an ill-advised relationship with a closeted BYU student who is also the bishop’s son and who’s fast approaching the time for his two year mission abroad during which he can have virtually no contact with anyone. Multiple times I felt like I was walking the tightrope right alongside Tanner.There aren’t many authors in this genre that can make me doubt the outcome of the tried and true romance algorithm but Christina Lauren did. More than once I found myself unable to conceive of a way for this story to end happily. It does but it was an anxiety inducing nail biter.Sebastian is a walking paradox. Maybe that was exacerbated by the fact that we don’t get his perspective or maybe it’s that fake plastic smile that seems to belie the perpetual happiness and contentment he projects, but he is… puzzling. Again, I think this is shrewd writing on the part of the authors. Sebastian’s character is a metaphor (IMO) for organized religion, in this case the LDS church. Religion, particularly when it comes to matters of homosexuality, doesn’t make sense. It’s fundamentally illogical and Sebastian is its manifestation. He is a by-product of his upbringing and thorough indoctrination of LDS ideology.The authors chose LDS but Sebastian’s narrative could easily be transplanted from Utah to anywhere on the planet and LDS could be substituted for pretty much any organized religion. Whether it’s Mormonism, Catholicism or Islam, homosexuality is viewed as something that should be rooted out. That universality was part of what made this story so poignant for me.But Christina Lauren deftly made the distinction between god and organized religion. Sebastian’s whole existence is built on the tenants of the church-pray for guidance, give back to your community, always be kind and strive to be a role model. Without this framework he’s understandably lost, but when he asks for guidance he feels acceptance and love. He feels no judgment. He feels like Tanner is the right path. I thought that distinction was an important one. However his reality is if he contravenes church doctrine he not only faces excommunication but will lose his parents’ love.“Parents” is a title that gives them a little too much credit because they are unworthy of the term. They sickened me. That’s not hyperbole either. I physically felt sick reading their dialogue and the drastic change in their demeanor after he asked a hypothetical question. Anyway, moving on.Tanner and Sebastian’s relationship is a fraught one without being melodramatic and achingly sweet without being saccharine. Both make mistakes and hurt each other. Tanner in particular I thought was going to torpedo his entire life with his faux pas. (view spoiler) First kisses and finding secret places to just be together inspired some nostalgia, though I have no desire to revisit the age old game of dodging the parents. However, it is chaste so if you're in the mood for sexy, this is not the one.I kind of loved Tanner’s parents. They are a stellar counterpoint to Sebastian’s. They accept and love Tanner wholeheartedly. His mom’s always running around leaving LGBTQ positive quotes, wearing rainbow PJs and tees that represent queer positivity while his dad is more of a quiet presence, exuding acceptance and doling out sage wisdom. Neither are pushovers though. They support Tanner’s bisexuality (which I found to be thoughtfully represented) but have concerns about the repercussions of him being out in such a conservative place. They also have concerns about him falling for the bishop’s son.But these two got under each other’s skin from the second they laid eyes on each other. There is a quality about their relationship that seemed fated to me, like, they would survive not being together but they wouldn’t be… whole, complete. I know that sounds overly dramatic but I also know countless people who have been with their first love since forever and others who’ve never really gotten over theirs so…Obviously I really loved this since I just word vomited all over a book that eleventy-three kazillion people have read and reviewed. I would recommend it to many with the caveat that it is heavily religious. LDS doctrine and how strongly it was featured I appreciated because I like learning but I’m objective enough to realize that the narrative to get a bit dry in the middle because of it, thus the 4.5 stars rather than 5. But otherwise I have no complaints. I loved Autumn and Manny. I loved Tanner’s parents but most of all I loved Tanner and Sebastian and am happy I went on this journey with them.Lastly, I would like to request that the authors consider writing more MM because the community needs more works like this circulating out there.

One of the most outstanding and truly unforgettable books I’ve ever read, this tender coming of age tale took my breath away, and to say I loved it would be a gross understatement. Exquisitely written, and laced with immeasurable amounts of heart and truth, this book perfectly captures the intensity and angst of teenage love, while relaying a message that is so powerful and relevant, it moved me to tears too many times to count. A genuine masterpiece that should be read by absolutely everyone.“My family is very adamant that I don’t come out to anyone here, not unless I really trust the person.”When eighteen-year-old Tanner Scott and his family moved from California to Provo—a predominantly Mormon town in the middle of Utah—his overly supportive parents had decided that it was in his best interest to keep his sexuality hidden from his peers and the deeply conservative religious community surrounding them. Encouraged all his life to be confortable in his own skin and proud of the person he is, Tanner cannot wait to move away for college, and with high school graduation only a semester away, he knows his closeted days are numbered."The second my wheels hit the state line, I am going to roll down my window and wave my flag."But when on the first day of a highly coveted book-writing course he meets Sebastian Brother, the Mormon prodigy who took that course the year before and then ended up selling his novel to a big publishing house, Tanner’s life tilts on its axis the moments he lays eyes on their new teacher’s aide. Across a busy classroom, their eyes meet and a half-Jewish queer boy falls irrevocably in love with the very devout son of a Mormon bishop."As he faces the class from the front now, his eyes flash when they meet mine—for a tiny flicker of a second, and then again, like a prism catching light, because he does a double take. That fraction of a heartbeat is long enough for him to register my immediate infatuation. Holy s***, how quickly he recognizes it."As inspiration continues to evade him and Tanner begins to battle the blank pages of his book, Sebastian offers to help him through his writer’s block, but the more time they spend together, in and out of the school setting, the more Tanner’s infatuation grows. And, to his surprise, it would appear that his feelings are very much returned."Kissing boys feels good. Kissing girls feels good. But something tells me kissing Sebastian would be like a sparkler falling in the middle of a field of dry grass."A secret romance between them begins to blossom, and we watch two young men from two very different worlds fall hopelessly in love with one another despite the very real risk of heartbreak. We watch Sebastian struggle to reconcile all he’s been taught to believe with all he knows to be true about himself, we watch him repeatedly deny his heart what it wants the most in the world, and fail at it time and time again.“I tried to change. And to not even let myself imagine how it would feel . . . being with . . . But then I met you.”And in the midst of it all, Tanner’s book begins to take shape, becoming a candid, personal account of a young love that refuses to be dismissed or condemned as sin, even if no one ever gets to read it at all."He wants to read my book, the book about falling in love with him. But how can I send my heart to him when he’s just said, in no uncertain terms, that he doesn’t speak its language?"With the unyielding dogmas of Sebastian’s faith constantly making him question himself and the consequences of his choices, it becomes increasingly clear to them both that loving one another would inevitably lead to great sacrifice, and they must decide whether what they’ve found in each other is worth it.“When I kiss you, it feels right, even if everything I read says it shouldn’t.”Christina Lauren pens a remarkable tale of love and hope, speckled with gems of wisdom and insight into a world that up to now was entirely foreign to me. I am overcome with emotion every time I think of these characters, my heart wanting to burst out of my chest at the mere thought of this story, its importance, and the undeniable magnitude of its message. I feel my soul was enriched by this splendid book, and I cannot but sing its highest praises. A must-read.“Did you ever look inside yourself while you prayed and try to find the seed of who you are in there, instead of just asking God over and over for permission to look?”

Buena la forma de representar a un personaje queer dentro de una comunidad religiosa de manera real y respetuosa. La historia te atrapa en ciertos puntos y el diálogo final me conmovió :)

As a Person that DOESNT really like to read,THIS.WAS.AMAZING.

4.5 starsI've seen a lot about Autoboyography everywhere; it's been mentioned as a favorite on many lists and has received a lot of praise. I've loved the majority of what Christina Lauren has written and this was no exception. Although I have to admit, I didn't initially love it as much as I thought I would, perhaps because I didn't connect to the characters as much and I sometimes found their attitudes/actions frustrating (hello, Autumn). The more I think about it though, the more I really appreciate Tanner and Sebastian's story and realize how much I enjoyed it.This is a coming-of-age love story, but it wasn't all butterflies, rainbows and all good things that normally feature in CLo's novels, and that made it more authentic and believable. Tanner is a bi-sexual high school senior who was out of the closet when his family lived in California, but had to "go back in" when they relocated to heavily Mormon Utah during his sophomore year. No one in town knows he's queer, not even his best and closest friend Autumn, and it's been easy to hide until Sebastian walks into his life. Tanner was easily my favorite character. He was immature at times and made some questionable (and typically high school) decisions, but he was also a cinnamon roll who has so much love to give. His parents and their support for him was just absolute goals, and their completely transparent relationship with each other was so enviable; their family dynamics were for real #familygoals. It brought so much comfort and happiness to the story and clearly played a very big role in making Tanner who he is: patient, kind, understanding and hopeful despite everything.On the other hand we have Sebastian, who comes from and was raised in a hardcore LDS home. He struggles with his identity and thinks that by denying who he is, it'll make him not gay and different from other queer people. He still loves and turns to the faith that he was raised in, but he's confused with how to reconcile that with what he feels for Tanner, especially when to him it feels completely right, but everyone and everything he loves and knows tells him otherwise. As I was reading Sebastian's struggles and vehement denials of being queer, my heart really broke for him. I want to say so much more but I also don't want to give more away. I will say: read it!I know there are probably many young teenagers/young adults and maybe even adults who struggle with reconciling their faith with how they identify, and although I can't speak to either Tanner's or Sebastian's experiences, I believe that CLo did a great job in researching and writing about such a sensitive and important topic. I think a lot of people will really be able to connect with their stories, especially (maybe) Sebastians' struggles of coming out, and they'll find comfort in knowing they're not alone; that they're not the only ones who are struggling, who are scared and don't know what to do because they don't want to lose everything and everyone they love just because of who they are. Here's a great quote from the book:"But missing him every day for the rest of my life was still easier than the fight Sebastian had: to stuff himself inside a box every morning and tuck that box inside his heart and pray that his heart kept beating around the obstacle. Every day I could go to class as exactly the person I am, and meet new people, and come outside later for some fresh air and Frisbee. Every day I would be grateful that no one who matters to me questions whether I am too masculine, too feminine, too open, too closed. Every day I would be grateful for what I have, and that I can be who I am without judgment. So every day I would fight for Sebastian, and people in the same boat, who don’t have what I do, who struggle to find themselves in a world that tells them white and straight and narrow gets first pick in the schoolyard game of life."Christina Lauren does it again! They really know how to write stories that are not only enjoyable, but cover important issues and make you think and feel all the feels. I'm really glad that I finally read this one!

Welcome to Provo, Utah...home, as we all know, of the LDS [Latter Day Saints] or Mormons as they are more commonly known. Into this environment comes a laid back Cali boy Tanner Scott, together with his Goth sister, software designer mum and heart surgeon dad. Mum is a tad unhappy about the move back to the state of her birth, but as it's a huge promotion for her job, has accepted it. Unfortunately Tanner himself is not a happy bunny; you see, he's finally accepted that he's bisexual, and although only 18, knows that the LDS stance on homosexuality is radically different to the general acceptance he's used to back home in California. So yes folks, this is a coming out story for both of our MC's.I fell in love with the boys and the story, several puddle of goo moments and the feels, sighs.....superb. 5 stars. Yes, I tried to gloss over the LDS [Latter Day Saints] involvement and the indoctrination, you know...tie the little woman to the kitchen and make her have several babies, and as for gays, well conversion therapy sounds like a damn good idea!!I still can't comprehend why some parents think that what feels right for them must automatically be the right path for their children....they're your children, NOT mini versions of you to boss around and live your own life vicariously through them!! Tanner I loved right from the get-go, and a big thumbs up for Tanner's parents, for his bestie Autumn [really??]....even though I wanted to throttle her at one point and for the ever watchful eye of their teacher at school.Sebastian?? Well, not much of his life could have been called his own. The praying, the school work, the service to his church and his family/fellow churchgoers and looking after his siblings. He'd had to grow up quickly with no time to do his own thing, and had therefore repressed his obvious feelings for other guys, but when he caught Tanner's eyes across the classroom, they were both goners...classic coup de foudre. No, I didn't like the way he kept encouraging Tanner only to back off and do the silent routine BUT once he truly accepted who and what he was, knew that being with Tanner felt so right and made him so happy, and his feeling that God approved of this whatever it was, he began to understand that for Tanner and himself to have a real relationship and be actual boyfriends, he would have to rebel against his parents and some of his Church's longstanding rules and regulations. Enjoy!!

Well this is nothing like any other Christina Lauren book I’ve read. NOTHING LIKE! I demand a refund and my memory to be erased so I can buy it again and read it for the first time. I LOVED it.My heart is still palpitating and it is nothing to do with the fact that I’m in the middle of making Christmas dinner. Actually hubs is making Christmas dinner and I’m watching Toy Story 3 with my apron on.And the reason why on Christmas Day I was reading? Because I am obsessed with Tanner and Sebastian. I could not put those boys down. So much so that I’m thinking I’m going to start writing fanfiction because I need more Tanner and Sebastian kissing and non of that fade to grey BS.I can’t imagine living a life where I’m not accepted. My palpitating heart goes out to those who suffer due to the mindless prejudice of others. Christina and Lauren write so beautifully of the pain and struggles those boys went through. I want to wear a rainbow tshirt and hug the bejesus out of them.Bravo!

This book was so cute! And I cried soooooo many times D: I'm so glad I decided to continue this at home, because blubbering on the bus would not have been good! :DThe pacing of the friendship / relationship between our two main guys Tanner and Sebastian was perfectBisexual main character!The LDS church aspect was done really well and really respectfully. There was a nice contrast between the two characters relationship with the church. Tanner had a lot of his negative expectations quashed, while Sebastian had to look inwardly and outward to see if maybe some of the beliefs he had been taught were wrong. Both came away with different opinions as the ones they started with, but not once did it feel like the book was portraying the religion and it's followers in a harsh way.Tanners parents had a nice arc, they accepted his bisexuality from the get go, but had to learn to /really/ accepting him. If you liked the parent aspect of this book then I definitely recommend Openly Straight which has a very similar parent / main character relationship

This book is perfection. I put it down, cheeks slightly damp and just smiled.I felt such an amazing range of emotions whilst reading this. There was sadness, grief, hope, happiness and most of all, love. I felt for these characters in a way that I haven't for a very long time. All that mattered was that they were safe and loved.Some parts were hard to read, but they needed to be so, and I really enjoyed the way the different aspects of Tanner and Sebastian's lives were written. Both families adored their sons, that much is clear, but their different religions, family dynamics and past experiences are beautifully explained. None of the characters are perfect, but that made the book even more enjoyable to me. There was no 'bad guy', no hidden agenda to the story, it was just written from the heart, to the heart of the readers.I love this. Pure and simple. It has rapidly become one of my favourite books ever, let alone in 2019.