Love's Hidden Symmetry: What Makes Love Work in Relationships Hardcover – January 1, 1998

For MDs, psychologists, counselors of all kind, and psychotherapists, here is the basic text for Family Constellation work. My experience over the last few years with Family Constellations suggests that it is the most dynamic development in the field of psychological and physical healing in decades. The book is a flowing combination of narrative, anecdotes, transcripts and didactic material, illustrating how members of families carry each others traumas and misunderstandings, often for generations, and how these are resolved through re-establishing the proper "orders of Love". The theme of the book is much broader and deeper than "How To Have A Good Relationship". It is about the unacknowledged rules of love and relationship and the restoration of integrity to family and relationship systems.I have consistently seen long term psychological and physical problems which have not responded to other forms of healing be resolved in a single constellation. Everyone in counseling work needs to read this book, and understand this material.Oddly enough, when you consider how popular psychotherapy is in the United States, we are just about the last country on the planet to recognize and embrace the merit of Bert Hellinger's work.

Anyone who follows Hellinger for the sake of Constellation, needs this book

This book will challenge your ideas about families and love, most especially those parts of the family that hidden, suppressed, missing or lost. Even more challenging are Bert Hellinger's ideas of the simple things that can be done to start relationships towards healing.

I've read this book a couple of times, and feel lucky to have gotten a used copy. Last I heard it is out of print. There is a lot of information that references Family or Systemic Constellation work. I have many bookmarks and am continually adding more for reference.

Awesome book! I love it. Great condition & shipping was timely. Thank you.

With the wisdom of a sage, Hellinger takes on psychotherapy, conventional beliefs about relationships and what is commonly accepted between family members and lovers in their relationships. Hellinger's message is one of humility in accepting what is, especially the natural order of relationships. For instance, rather than bemoaning an abusive father, Hellinger will stand by the victimizer and have the victim, a son or daughter, humbly acknowledge the father for being the father and to place the circumstances as secondary. In this action, the natural order of the relationship becomes untangled. Hellinger is more interested not in details but in finding what works in resolving problems. The past is past, he seems to say with each page's turn, and focusing on making things right is his intent. From my personal work, I have seen how this work is indeed powerfully effective, and because of Hellinger's non-linear, often intangible approach, he is a controversial and immensely popular figure in psychotherapy. This review does not do this book or Hellinger's work justice. In reading Love's Hidden Symmetry, I found myself reading only a small section, then putting down the book to sit with whatever I had just read. Each section is worth more than the space on its page, in other words. It took some time to complete it, and a better understanding of what he says will probably only come in time and in multiple readings. Hellinger's work talks precisely about being humbled by each other and our processes and how things work as they do. Moreoever, through his readings and family constellations I have discovered how powerfully my lineage influences who I am. The brilliance of this work is in its systemic significance: how noted events, such as war or murder, can have lasting effects transgenerationally. My only criticism his is limited inclusion about environmental factors and the role of civilization in contributing to individual psychological problems; this area is not seeming to be his focus. Instead, Hellinger, a master psychotherapist, appears more interested in redirecting our entangled relationships with each other. I leave my first reading of this book still intent on people finding healthier ways to live, rather than just necessarily focusing on their healing; at the same time, I am blown away by what Hellinger does for the individual and family end of things. It is simply unlike no other I have been exposed to before.

Highly recommended for ppl who like constellation work in relationships! Lots to learn from Hellinger!

Having just attended my first constellation workshop a couple of weeks ago, I was keen to read further from the man who brought constellations into the therapeutic arena.....I have seen some videos of his working. On occasion his bluntness and sharpness with clients is remarkable. He also brings a deep wisdom to the work. The book has the same flavour.... wise and steady, and at times quite intolerant of self-pitying and indulgent behaviour. Necessarily so, as his commitment is to bring resolution.I really enjoyed the use of story that he employs throughout the book, to come along side the reader.Definitely worth reading, it would help if you have experienced constellation work in some way before reading it, although not necessary. There is no soft focus here, just a setting out of how he works. Also illuminating are his examples of one of his 4 day groups.... where he leaves participants in uncomfortable places emotionally. He definitely doesn't fix people, that's for sure.

Loved all the family stories and I'm so much in love with Hellinger's science since my first constellation as an issue holder. The translation could be improved though as at some parts the written in it doesn't make any sense in English but apart from that the book is a great read for those that are studying family constellation or curious about it.

Deeply touched by the wisdom in this book. I highly recommend it!

Very interesting and intriguing book. I personally have nothing to do with phsycoanalysis or therapy, and bought this book looking for some answers to some very difficult issues within my own family. I cannot testify to the truth and effectiveness of Hellinger's approach of family constellations, but I found his book to be full of hope and full of interesting ideas and theories on the relationships between members of families.