The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage: How Love Works

I am a wife of nearly 23 years and WISH I had had this book then as I had no idea what it took to make a great marriage when I said "I do." I've read many books on marriage over the years and place this one among the top. It is an easy to read book that I believe any woman could benefit from, whether married or single. Whether you have a great marriage, or are on the verge of divorce.Like others before her, the author reminds us that men are rather simple beings. They have few needs, and we as wive will benefit greatly if we understand what those needs are and how to meet them. The author explains that oftentimes, It is difficult for a woman to have an alpha role in the business world, and come home to work together with her husband. Some might say her views are archaic, but the fact is, few homes can survive with 2 alpha leaders. One must be the beta. The author gives ample reason why it makes sense that the wife take the beta role in the home. The book has many personal examples to illustrate the point the author makes. Not only does she tell us the why but she also tells us the how. In addition, she concludes each chapter with a simple assignment or "action."The author begins the book with a short note, then 3 disclaimers, she offers a short quiz in order to find out how alpha you are. The final preface to the meat of the book includes a short account of her own mothers difficulty in balancing a career and being a wife and mother. She explains that there is the need in the current culture for a "new set of tools" in order to make a marriage (or long term monogamous relationship) work.The chapter titles include:Wave the White FlagDecide to StayLearn the DanceOwn Your Feminine (or Your Inner Beta)Serve for the Sake of ServingHave Zero ExpectationsDon't Use Money as a WeaponStop Saying NoSpeak Less--You'll Say MoreGet Busy in the BedroomPlease don't judge the book by the chapter titles. Each chapter has valuable information to make your marriage successful. While some of these ideas may seem rather old fashioned, I'd be hard pressed to say anyone that truly attempts them without biased will be rewarded for their effort.The book also contains a short 10 point list reviewing the "do's and dont's for the alpha female, 8 reading group questions, and a short interview with the author at the end of the book.* I received this book without charge in exchange for an honest review.*

I hate and love this book. Hard pill to swallow for me…to hear the author’s points bc my thought process is indeed alpha- controlling and bossy, but it’s very practical and easy to read. I’ve found it helpful and insightful. I’m sure I’ll reread often on my journey to marital bliss and longevity.

I had never heard of Suzanne Venker until a few weeks ago, but I was intrigued by her book reviews on Amazon, so I bought it.And the darn thing went and changed my life!She offers a refreshingly traditional view on women, men, and marriage and it does not disappoint. I realized that while I was a self-proclaimed anti-feminist, many of my views on relationships were decidedly feminist! It took a thorough reading of Venker's book to make me aware of my own hypocrisy.I think the overarching theme of this narrative is the question: Can you be beta to your man’s alpha? Many women might say yes, but their actions/way of thinking will prove the answer to be a hard no.I love that Venker doesn't say, 'This is the way you should do this, or the RIGHT way to do this'. She simply offers her perspective through her experiences and knowledge and allows the reader to draw her own conclusions. I think you will truly either love or hate this book. Many women—especially American women—will find that this book strikes a chord with them because of how we were raised. We were raised to be strong and independent while also subconsciously being taught that dependence or needing people, was a sign of weakness. So we shy away from that weakness because strength is an obviously more desirable trait to have. The problem with that fierce independence is that you're in a position of being the boss both at work and at home. But this can lead to another problem if you can't learn to turn it off: when you have to be the boss in your relationships (i.e., you have to be right, you have to have your way or you're not happy), that leaves little room for vulnerability. And without vulnerability, it will make it infinitely harder for love to take root between a man and a woman. Lust, sure. But love? Not so much.The Alpha Woman’s Guide to Men and Marriage will force you to acknowledge some harsh truths about our expectations towards men and how our words and actions are likely providing a toxic environment for the love that we so desire to have. Many women feel righteous in their lists and all these things they require in a man, but are unwilling to acknowledge their own shortcomings or bring anything other than sex to the table. While sex is great, many alpha women find out the hard way that it’s not enough to sustain a healthy relationship or get them to the altar like they’d hoped it would.Self-reflection is a hard thing to do because while it’s easy to point out other people’s flaws, it’s nearly impossible to honestly and objectively see ourselves as flawed or in need of change. Venker doesn’t shy away from this extraordinary and challenging endeavor. She doesn’t accomplish this by picking at the female ego (but let’s admit it ladies, we have one too and it is HUGE), she does it by dragging those ugly demons—Selfishness and Pride—out into the open and examining them with a frankness that’s rare. And it requires no small amount of courage on the reader’s part.The thing I loved most about this book was how Venker challenged me to adjust my attitude. As it turns out, my pride and attitude towards myself, men and relationships did not align with the type of man I wanted—someone strong, driven, protective and loving. However, by adjusting my approach to relationships, I was able to find freedom in the simple fact that the only person you can change is yourself. And that’s only if you want to.To be clear: this is not a book that says all women are wrong and need to change! Relationships are a two-way street. But I truly believe that by accepting most, if not all, of the points listed in this book, many women will find the love that they seek and be much more satisfied individuals. This book isn’t for everyone, but if you’re willing to tackle it with an open mind, I think you’ll find that love is something worth changing for.

Awesome! A Must!! As a Christian woman raised to be independent, I knew nothing about a good mariage. This book was awesome! It compLement beautifully all the knowledge the Lord gave me so far. Thank you Lord for the personal recommendation.However, for Christians, I'd remind you of Psalms 127. Build with God! Otherwise, it is in vain and none of this will be applicable. She even specified her audience at the beginning. For married ppl for example, it applies to you if your husband is already a "good" man but you're struggling... Not the abusers, drunkards or else. So let the Lord lead you to those green pastures 😊For me personally I would have LOVED a bible based version of this, with scriptures etc. but it was fine too.

Really makes you consider how you relate to people and reflect upon how people respond to you.A very useful book that more women (and men) should read.

This book got me thinking about how to better love my husband. Putting those thoughts into action brought us closer.

I brought this book as I believed it would give me tips on how to help my relationship as I tend to have controlling perfectionist traits instead I was met with the anti-feminist drivel of Trump's America. If you believe in feminism and gender equality please don't read this. Any book that tells someone to have sex with their partner despite what they are feeling should come with a warning.

Like tinder for a fire. Either it will burn your marriage to the ground or save it for decades. Awesome book.