Navigating Polarities: Using Both/And Thinking to Lead Transformation

I have two other books on my shelf on the topic of polarities and have been unable “get through” them. It seemed as if they were making a simple concept more complicated than it needed to be – at least to me, the average reader. Navigating Polarities is different. Emerson and Lewis have simplified a more complex process. I read it cover to cover and couldn’t put it down. Building on the model of Johnson, they make several enhancements. The first of these is to replace the infinity loop with what they call the “Third Way”, taken from the work of Richard Rohr. The authors point out that the loop can create an unintended pendulum effect from one pole to the next in an attempt to get the benefits or upsides of both poles. I have personally found this to be true in using the old framework. The Third Way is genius because it creates something new as opposed to some sort of balancing act. Instead of shifting from one set of behaviors to another and back again in a dynamic flow (as the old model suggests), the Third Way suggests that you grow into something that requires bigger capacity, more risk and more compassion. In this way it is truly developmental. Emerson and Lewis provide a map and a set of guidelines for identifying and naming both the Third Way and the vulnerability required to stand in it. It’s a full-on subject-object move. We are also introduced to the delightful concept of “standing in our diagonal”. This is where we identify (or over identify) with the upside of our preferred pole and dis-identify (or villainize) the down side of the other. It was so great to read this, because I come across this with clients all the time. What I often hear is “don’t ask me to become that”(where that = Not Me). The beauty about the Emerson and Lewis process is that we don’t ask clients to become “that” (the thing they don’t like). Instead, we ask them to name and stand in a Third Way. This can be a great relief to many people. It is also another subject-object move that supports a sort of softening to the Other and a Melting of Fears. The last piece that is invaluable is the inclusion of a “strategies” section of the map. This really supports immediate action and sustainability over time. What makes the book so readable is that the authors take you through step by step of how to do the work- both with individuals and with groups. It’s all very clearly laid out. I felt as if Emmerson and Lewis were giving away the secret sauce. If that was their goal, they certainly succeeded. What a gift.

I could title this “Please read this book “ because it’s that useful. So often we fall into a trap of either/or thinking that leads to unsatisfying and temporary solutions when what is more helpful in “both/and” thinking and deep, curiosity filled dialogue. If you are a leader or aspire to lead this book can help you facilitate meaningful change. Oh, and please do read this book.

Kelly and Brian completely cracked the code on presenting polarities so that the world can better understand polarities' grand context, their nuance, their inner workings, and their power to liberate. Brava!! In several cases during the reading, I sharpened distinctions that i didn't realize required sharpening (knowing::learning?) - awesome when that happens! The whole contextual piece of suffering paradox presents a very compelling 'why' and makes this work so much more powerful. Finally, I love that, and how, the authors brought heart into the treatment of polarities. This book is a treasured resource as an introduction and a how-to guide, and it serves as a sage for anyone wanting to deepen their appreciation for the power of polarity.

I attended a course Brian & Kelly taught at Georgetown. They have a great way of taking complex subjects and making them easy to understand which the reason is why I wanted to read their book. As the subject line indicated, I am a novice in organizational development, however, as a leader of a business I am always looking for tools to help improve communication in our company. I found the book to be an easy guide to understanding and navigating polarities. If you manage a business, lead a family or just trying to help people communicate better this is a book for you.

My dad always told me there’s two sides to every story. The work of polarities, thanks to Kelly Lewis, has been trained into all of our executives at Luck Companies. Prior to this work, the ability to truly understand the pros and cons of two different points of view is a skill we did not have, much less building these perspectives into a transformational third way. The polarities language is now part of our vocabulary and unquestionably leads us to hire for performance!

This book is a must read for anyone in any position of leadership. Business, non-profit, church, anything involving people. The framework is well thought out and it is a game changer for how to handle challenges. I highly recommend.

Polarities are all around us, and Emerson and Lewis have written a clear, actionable primer on how to manage them effectively. They use simple relatable examples to make this somewhat theoretical concept tangible and real. As an executive coach, I found myself recommending it to clients before I’d finished it. A must read for leaders who believe they have a limited set of conflicting choices.

As a certified polarities practitioner I found this work makes the subject matter accessible, digestible, insightful, and useful to a diverse audience. It has helped me to open up conversations about navigating polarities at work and at home, allowing me to take concepts and translate them into productive conversations and actions. A must-read for anyone looking to approach problems and dilemmas differently.

Loved this book. Not only do the authors help you understand how to seperate the polarities, but also put them back together again. I thought it was so powerful that ive even decided to go on their training course.

I just finished reading the book Navigating Polarities and enjoyed it from the first to the last page. While I have been using Polarity management and Immunity to change for a few decades in my leadership practice, I like the way the authors incorporated the concepts. They truly support transformation.

Love the practical ways this book explains and explores polarities. This is a concept I wish I knew earlier in my life and the way Emerson and Lewis write about it is really practical and helpful to build that set of Both/And muscles that are so needed in work, life and the world. A highly recommend from me.

This is such a useful practical resource for people at all levels of awareness about polarities. I have had great fun working through the ideas with friends as they read through it. Kelly and Brian have delivered some new ideas about understanding and working with the polarities that arise in our lives and in our workplaces. Highly recommend.