Back When We Were Grownups

I read several other reviews listed here. Perhaps you have to be 53 or older to understand Rebecca's dilemma. Because I am her age, I totally got it. And I found her reunion with her almost-fiance to be a meaningful insight into her character. Tyler uses it to demonstrate how far Rebecca has come in her journey to self-hood, if there's such a term. Her family, like most families, has its share of oddballs and outliers. The foibles of the lot make them real and believable characters. There is an arc to the story, but it is subtle. It takes a little work to identify just exactly when Rebecca begins to settle into herself, and that's just fine with this reader. This story is deliberately told, skillfully interrogating the characters and how each has developed over his/her life. I was taken with Tyler's description of Zeb, and his relationship with Rebecca. Similarly, Patch and Troy; NoNo, Biddy and Min Foo. In our family, each of us has a nickname, so Tyler's use of them for her characters made them believable and accessible. Unlike most of Tyler's fans -- among which I now count myself -- I came to Tyler's writing recently and wish I'd discovered her years earlier.

I kept waiting for this book to go somewhere. I skipped a lot of it, trying to figure out if it was going to get better. It had very little narrative arc. The endless mundane dialogue was tedious. The names of the characters were contrived. It was as if the author was trying too hard to make too many of the names weird and unusual. I found it hard to feel drawn in by the main character. The set up is that she's "discovered" she's become someone other than who she intended to be. But she only dabbles lightly in trying to go back to a former self by meeting up with a past boyfriend. Nothing comes of that and any "epiphany" she might have is muted and lackluster. She ends up back in the same place she's in at the beginning and the reader is left with no particular take-away. The book lacked forward momentum. It had a bogged down feeling the whole way through. Overall a pointless annoying book that I am sorry I wasted any time on.

This is my first Anne Tyler book and I was very disappointed. I kept waiting and waiting for a plot to develop but it never did. The characters were poorly defined. When I read a novel I like to get a mental picture of the characters but these characters just seemed like one big blob with nothing that made them stand out from the rest. I couldn't come to care about any of them. I was so bored I couldn't read this book for more than 15 minutes before I had to move on to something more interesting.

I've bought this book in both hard copy and Kindle. One of my very favorite books ever. Simply love Rebecca...I think every woman who has ever been taken for granted as the under-appreciated family nurturer will see some of themselves in her story. Anne Tyler's language is just beautiful. I laugh each time I read about the poor boy grabbed by the floozy for a dance at the wedding, wearing "the shocked, frozen expression of a hijacking victim." This book thrilled me almost 10 years ago in hard copy, and the Kindle version was even better. Bravo!

I first read 'Back When We Were Grownups' by Anne Tyler about ten years ago - and loved it. Since that time, I have been unerringly attracted to crime fiction. However, I recently executed a brief detour and bought three general fiction novels as well. 'Back When we Were Grownups' - in my opinion, Anne Tyler's best work - is the only one of these that I have re-read, again and again.It's such a warm, generous and welcoming book just like the main character herself - Rebecca. Stepmother/mother to four girls and step-grandmother/grandmother to their offspring, Rebecca takes us through her days as a party-giver, whether celebrating with the clients who hire space in her home, The Open Arms, or as she coaxes and cajoles her family through engagements, weddings, picnics or the 100th birthday party of Poppy, her deceased husband's Uncle, who she inherited along with the house.Now in her early fifties, though widowed decades earlier, Rebecca wonders if maybe she lost herself and became somebody else along the way. She re-acquaints herself with Will Allenby, the man she was set to marry before she suddenly met and married Joe Davitch, founder of The Open Arms. Maybe if she'd married Will Allenby, they would have had a more academic life in 'a comfortably shabby flat in some faculty widow's house just off campus' - her 'real life' is how she starts to think of this dream, as opposed to her 'fake real life, with its tumult of of drop-in relatives and party guests and repairmen'. She finally learns how much each life means to her.Rebecca is a wonderful character - sensitive, observant, cheerful, wistful, kind, funny - but maybe not the greatest dresser! Anne Tyler is a beautiful writer whose details of daily life and the thoughts and feelings they invoke are so accurately expressed, that the story becomes your 'real life', your escape, and very satisfying so, for just a little while.

I read somewhere from someone that if you are an Anne Tyler fan you will like absolutely anything she writes. I don't find for me this is strictly true. Although I have liked and even loved most. This one got away from me when it was first published some years ago now, so I was pleased to find it .As always it is easy to become totally absorbed in the families she writes about and this was no exception. Rebecca, as an only child, always wanted a large, bustling and chaotic family. She certainly got it. Three little stepdaughters and one of her own. They are all adults now with their own families. Their home is though, always calling them. Rebecca has carried on the family business in the row house where they have all grown up. 'The Open Arms' is a venue for parties. Rebecca is now struggling to know quite who she is; that serious college girl might have married her serious college boyfriend, what then. You can never go back, but Rebecca feels there is no harm in trying.

My favourite Anne Tyler book - and I'm a huge fan! Her writing is beautiful, the interior dialogue relatable and humerous and the characters are so well developed, believeable, every nuance is captured beautifully. I loved her cooking, the mix-up of blended family and the sheer chaos of real life . And I felt like I was with her on the awkward first date - the writing made me smile and at times broke my heart. LOVED it!

Slowly draws you into the family and Rebecca's anxieties. The depiction of Poppy is wonderful and highly unusual to have as such an important character. It is only on the last page that Rebecca can see what the reader has known for some time. Highly recommended for the beautiful descriptions, the characterisation and the insightful depiction of a woman in a midlife crisis.

I find it difficult to write this review without gushing or giving away too much of the story line. So I shall simply say that I have found myself finishing it followed by immediately turning back to page one and starting all over again. What more does one need to say? The only remaining question would be whether to include Ladder of Years as one of the other books....If I had to expand, I would say that Anne Tyler captures the great joy and humour and overwhelming love and hugeness of life in this story (see, hard not to gush). I could go on about finding these big themes within the minutiae of everyday life with its messy relationships and small misunderstandings and kindnesses, the contrast between Rebecca's reflective inner life and the outer chaos of her business throwing parties, the extraordinary subtlety of the writing and the perfect timing of the humour, but I won't. Find a copy and read it but don't ever pass it along or you will find yourself buying another copy.

Having only recently discovered Anne Tyler I find I can't read enough of her books. Who hasn't, at some point in their life, looked back and wondered 'What if I'd . . . . . .' This is the story of Rebecca who does just that in between caring for her impossibly demanding family. Anne Tyler's books are subtle, reflecting the thoughts and ideas of her characters. A joy to read.

I enjoyed the chaotic family life chronicled in this book, which I found typically Anne Tyler. It was perhaps not my favourite of her works but four stars indicates that I am a fan in any case. I like the way she brings together young and old characters and allows them to teach each other a little something. In her writing about love and loss there is always humour and hope.

my 3rd Anne Tyler book just love her style of writing now l have to read morethis book was so lovely l didn't want it to finish.

I would read anything by Anne Tyler! Her novels give you a warm feeling and are totally relatable. We all have families like those she writes about and the familiar day-to-day issues always strike a chord with me..

Excellently written but not really my type of book.

Lovely story - I love Anne Tyler stories - why when there is so many bad films about - they do not make films from all of her books

I love everything by Anne Tyler. This will not disappoint others who feel the same way.

The delivery and condition of the book fully met my expectations. The Amazon purchasing system be it one or in basket provides an excellent and secure purchasing system. Books in particular are very easy to purchase.

Her best novel yet.An ordinary story,well written and captivating.

A delightful novel full of observances of people and their different ways of looking at their world. A novel that speaks of regret for the past but in the fullness of time comes to understand that the past was not as wonderful as it had been perceived.

Delightful as always. She captures real women.