1-2-3 Magic: Gentle 3-Step Child & Toddler Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting (Positive Parenting Guide for Raising Happy Kids) Paperback – February 2, 2016

This book has been revolutionary for our discipline and child raising and has helped us so much. The basic idea is that you count bad behavior (i.e. "that's one") and then put the child into an age-appropriate length time out on the third count while staying calm and not talking or arguing with the child. The book has other useful tips, such as how to build a closer relationship with your child, but the consistent counting, staying calm, and timeout is the core principle. I wanted to address concerns that a time out for a child who can't self-calm is cruel. I have that child, and I'm the mom who previously tried some of the newer "time in" discipline strategies. Those did not work for us because there was no method (like the counting) to implement them the exact same way every time. I modified 123 magic in that I would not let my child tantrum for more than 10 minutes in his room (clarification that the book says to start with a minute per year of age but then recommends in most cases not letting the child out until the tantrum ends)--at age five he hasn't gone past six or seven minutes of a tantrum, although as the book suggests, I had to make it so the door couldn't open from the inside with the plastic covering you put on the handle. I felt terrible doing this, but he was just walking out of the room during time out or I was forced to sit outside and hold the door shut! I now leave the door open if he stays inside the room, and it still works. Overall, I recommend this book and discipline method. My husband and I were shocked how we went from shouting and frustration to calm, effective counting. It really works.

This is SUCH a great book, written in an understandable, conversational style. My copy is underlined and ear marked to share things with my husband. If you're trying to help your child with behavior refinement and at your wits end, buy it. It's smart. The implementation strategy is very clear, down providing the exact conversation to have with your child before you start this new approach. Remembering that our kids learn self-regulation from us is a perspective-shaper, as well as remembering the Little Adult Syndrome we often project on our kids. The No Talking rule for parents is golden and effective. Besides managing anger, the other sections are helpful and related (even dealing with homework, dinner, and bedtime challenges). Chapter 19 on Sympathetic Listening has been an effective strategy for dissolving anger in my child, particularly reflecting his feelings. I'd recommend this book to anyone struggling with behavior.

I appreciate that this book gives concrete disciplinary actions and advice for all the “what ifs….” Many parenting books I’ve read had great advice, but I was left scratching my head when my kids didn’t cooperate like I’d assume they would. I have a defiant ADHD child and I needed more than what other parenting books were giving me. This book is truly amazing and was just what I needed. The advice is still “gentle” and loving towards kids, but demands firm boundaries and expectations. I read the whole thing in a day and a half.

I decided to buy 1-2-3 Magic because it was recommended to me by a coworker. She has 3 young children and swears by the method. My 2.5 year old was slowly becoming out of control. She was hitting her little brother and at times refusing to comply with some directions. My husband and I were at our wit ends. Trying different methods all the time, but nothing was working. It was getting to the point where some for her behaviors were dangerous! She was running out of the house even when we said no! We are gentle parents, but from reading this book we learned we were a bit too permissive. After a few days of consistently implementing 1-2-3 Magic, she started learning we mean business and many of the behaviors stopped. Of course, there are still moments she doesn't listen - she's only 2! But overall, I would say this works.You can make this book your own and I recommend you do. After reading a lot of feedback people said kids wouldn't listen until the parent counted to 3. So my husband and I do "if/ then" statements instead of counting, but still follow the same principals. For example, "If you hit your brother, you will be put in another room." "If you walk out the door without mommy and daddy, you will not get to play outside today." In addition 1-2-3 Magic suggests "not talking." We've decided to explain the first time and recap at neutral times... but we don't talk on and on and repeat ourselves.There are a lot of specific solutions in the book that are probably geared to slightly older children- but I still think it's worth the read even for young toddlers!

With all the parenting information out there, I really appreciated the simplicity of this approach. I have a tendency to talk too much and it really does take a lot of practice to hold back but it gets easier the more you do it. It helps keep you as a parent more calm and in control. Instead of thinking in the moment, "how should I handle this tantrum?" or just automatically yelling, it gives me a simple, calm plan. The most important thing I've learned as a parent is to stay consistent and this is no different. Kids catch on pretty quick when they know what to expect because the boundary is being held. I appreciated all the different scenarios in the book and the realness of a lot of the parents that felt very relatable.It doesn't always work perfectly with my kids every time but a majority of the time it does. I definitely still have some room for improvement.Loved that it was an easy and enjoyable read. I looked forward to reading it each day and I do not consider myself a reader.